embracing your innate beauty and perfection
Posts tagged Touch
How do you like to be touched?
Dec 30th
When you think about it, foreplay is really about touch.
Most women are very sensitive to the quality and intent of touch. The best way to see this is to do the following simple
exercise that will only take 5 minutes of your time.
Tell your lover that you are going to touch in different ways for one minute at a time. Now touch your partner only from the fingers to the elbows.
Now each minute touch a different way and tell your partner when you are changing but not what you are doing different.
* Touch like you are massaging.
* Touch with your mind on work, money etc
* Touch with total concentration on the sensations under your fingers and the pleasure of this.
* Touch to try to turn on your lover.
Now have a discussion on which type of touch felt more erotic and sensual.
Take turns and swap roles and then compare notes.
Most people find that paying a lot of attention to the sensations when touching, allows the receiver to feel much more pleasure.
One could call this being present in the touch. Many women find it difficult to find a man that is really present in lovemaking.
Most men seem to focus on trying to turn on their lover and are very goal orientated. This simple exercise shows how easy it is to be more present in one’s touch.
MAURICE TATE
Touch like a Lover
Nov 7th
The Lover’s Touch by Diana Daffner
The Lover asked: How would you like me to touch you?
The Lover answered:
I would like you to touch me as if you were going away tomorrow, far far away, and you wanted to remember the feel of my body, the texture of my skin, the hills and valleys that make up the landscape of who I am.
I would like you to touch me as if you were blind, knowing that you love me, but unable to see me. Touch my face, my breasts, my belly, my toes… learn what I “look” like, imagine me in your mind as your hands explore my shape.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were healing hands, radiating love energy with every stroke. Feel the energy penetrating through skin, through flesh, entering into the cells of my body.
I would like you to touch me as if you gained your nourishment through your hands. Feed on me, drink deeply, and draw from your touch the love that I hold for you.
I would like you to touch me as if you were feeding me through your hands, as if by your touch I am nourished and sustained. Every inch of me cries out for your touch, yearns to be fed.
I would like you to touch me as if your hand were a feather, lightly caressing the edge of my being.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were paintbrushes, and as you caress me, you are coloring me in brilliant, sparkling, dazzling hues.
I would like you to touch me as if you were erasing the outer me, allowing me to reveal my inner self to you.
I would like you to touch me as if you had carved a sculpture, and were now feeling its finish, smoothing out any rough areas, enjoying the finished product.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were fire, burning away the dross and leaving only the pure gold of my soul.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were sponges, soaking up the essence of my being.
I would like you to caress me as if I were made of dry clay, and by dampening my skin you enliven my spirit.
I would like you to touch me as if my skin were soft velvet.
I would like you to touch me as if you were a musician, and your touch brought forth different sounds from different parts of me.
I would like you to touch me as if I were a rare jewel, precious and valuable.
I would like you to touch me as if I were your Lover.
Subtle Body
Nov 3rd
As I move through life, deepening my understanding of tantra and the ways in which sexuality and spirituality merge in an incredibly beautiful and perfectly fitting match, I’m continuously amazed to discover how the theory lives up to itself in practice.
I often meet with people who have little or no experience of the concept of energy and who are fairly skeptical of it. Most of my family and some friends sadly distance themselves from me because of the worlds I move in and am exploring. I understand their fears and prejudices and use my encounter with their aversions to continue to embrace new realms of releasing judgment within myself. I’m so grateful though, that life has brought me access into these untapped realms of life experience.
We grow up in a society where the literal and the scientific is exalted above the mystical. Anything vaguely mystical is usually filtered through the narrow margins of a popular christian view. Anything vaguely eastern is considered highly suspect and certainly likely to be “dangerous” or “weird.” Sadly, what is lost is the opportunity to experience a realm of beauty, subtlety, and delight that is actually perfectly normal and generally felt and enjoyed at some point in life, but just not recognized for what it is.
In this I’m referring to the sensations of shivers and tremors that we experience either when we touch or are touched very gently and tenderly with great presence and awareness of the moment, or when we catch someone’s eye in a way that is direct and open – with few barriers or veils. I think everybody can identify some time of experiencing such encounters. Whether they were sexual or not is irrelevant – although generally they would be seen to be romantic/sensual/deeply moving in a manner of “attraction.”
Many of us are slightly uncomfortable with such forms of intimacy. Others crave but also fear such encounters, perhaps because of how deeply we feel them. I think there is a high degree of longing for this form of “supernatural” encounter that is substituted by other activities such is high energy sports and social events in an unconscious hope to capture some measure of the thrill we feel in those rare times of intimate human exchange that are stripped of pretense and guardedness. It’s a real pity that we have gone so far away from our natural, innocent willingness to feel into one other’s subtle emotional/energetic spaces that we seldom get to the real thing, and instead spend a lot of time, money and energy on the replacement forms of it.
I trust you’re following what I’m saying. If I’m being too vague, please comment and I’ll try to clarify.
The following is a beautiful article I’m borrowing from a Facebook friend by the name of Kathy Kali. It speaks of the route to enjoying the subtle body sensations that I’ve been alluding to above:
Open your hand and let it rest. Your hands are used to “doing” something. Let your hand just do nothing for a moment. Feel the pulse of life in your palm, in your fingers. Letting go of your notions of what a hand is, feel the subtle energies in this part of your body. Notice the energy as vibration…as color…as sound. Let the energies circulate and expand, until you are no longer in your hand. You are in your hand’s subtle body.
What is the subtle body? The deep and subtle and quiet and slow aspects of our being are our deep feminine essence. Activating this subtle body, with receptivity, allows us to channel pleasurable energies more deeply. It is our transmitter. The more we “tune in” to the subtle places within ourselves, the more nourishment we can receive, and the more energy we can channel.
I’ve personally experienced the subtle body as a sweet tingling, a softness, a cloud of energy, and a sense of great space, within my body. In addition, when I feel a lot of pleasure or inner fire come through the Tantric Dance, it often feels as if the pleasure is moving up a central tube, or channel, in my core. Your subtle body may feel different to you. Allow yourself to explore and let your subtlety come through in its own way.
To cultivate awareness of your subtle body, I offer the following simple exercise:
1. Get comfortable and ground.
Lie, sit, stand, whatever your body feels called to right now. Feel your connection to the earth, and relax.2. Belly breath.
Breathe into the belly, and release. Continue. This connects you with your life force, and deepens your grounding.3. Notice the breath.
Feel the breath filling your belly and torso, and releasing. Notice any other places the breath wants to travel: your limbs, your back, your neck, your head…4. Core vibration.
Feel the breath and the energy emanating from it, as vibration. Absorb this vibration, drink it in, and take into the depth of your being. Notice any sensations, sounds, sights, smells…5. Do nothing.
Keep breathing, but do nothing else. You are in your subtle body.
Second Secret
Dec 21st
ORGASMIC SECRET#2:
High levels of arousal are best learned by using surprisingly little (in fact, in the beginning, almost no) stimulation!
Orgasm is only indirectly a function of stimulation. Orgasm is primarily the result of arousal.
When we realize this fact, we can begin to identify and distinguish between the activities which “set the stage” for triggering the male ejaculation reflex versus those activities that will consistently trigger the spontaneous rushes of intense pleasure (i.e., the multiple orgasm reflex, as distinct from the ejaculation reflex) in both men and women.
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Activities leading to triggering ejaculation
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Patterns typically learned from childhood
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Activities leading to triggering multiple orgasm without requiring ejaculation control methods
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While learning how to open to multiple orgasms
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Characteristics of male orgasm with ejaculation
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Characteristics of male multiple orgasm without ejaculation
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WOMEN IN TOUCH
Dec 16th
I offer private sessions to women who are looking for support in their journey to their fullest expression of themselves.
This is an opportunity to explore and tap into what has been lost and forgotten in our modern western culture where a tendency to focus on performance and outcome has infused sexual intimacy with a need to live up to standards which drain and exhaust most women. Fears of under-performing, of disappointing, of showing some lack or inadequacy inhibit most women’s natural grace and aliveness from being expressed in the bedroom.
Part of this process may include a release of deeply held tensions that creep in as a result of “hard-living.” We travel together to discover the softness that lies within your body. As this emerges, you also discover the lover within – the woman who longs to writhe with pleasure and ecstasy in tune with the breath and pulse of her own body, instead of under direction of the masculine mind. Through this, you will restore the natural magnetism of a woman who truly knows her inner self and expresses it through her body.
Let’s open to our deepest expression of Love …
The quest for zero defect?
Oct 22nd
Someone asked me this week “How do you operate, Jeanne? It seems you consult, but I am unsure how that happens.”
In response to my reply to him, he said “On reading your site again, I think you might spell out your offering like the mail below, which tells me clearly what you do.”
So thanks for that feedback and here is what I said, which he feels explains the work better than what I say elsewhere:
“The session is a Sacred Sexual meditative experience – a form of touch therapy that takes you deeply into wherever your body leads. You lie on a futon and I work on your whole body and if that’s where you want to go, you enter deep states of rolling bliss – you step free of your mind for a while.”
Any improvements on this explanation from those who have had the experience, would be welcomed. I often realise how little I know and how often I forget. Every day is new. What a joy!
“Peaceful Passion” – a new way of lovemaking!
Jun 2nd
Peaceful Passion? That sounds like two different things, doesn’t it? Passion is hot, sexy and full of fire. Peace is soft and graceful. Peaceful Passion is a union of opposites, a lovemaking that blends body, heart and spirit into an experience of infinite delight. And every couple can enjoy it, regardless of age or sexual appetite.
Peaceful Passion is a revolutionary new way to enjoy sexual connection with your partner. What is wonderful about this easy approach is that NOTHING is required. It’s easy! You don’t even have to be “in the mood.” (But you can be.) You can make an appointment. You don’t have to be aroused. (But you can be!) No effort is involved. No one has to work, or “do” their partner. There is no goal except to be in the “now” with your Beloved. You can even enjoy Peaceful Passion without an erection! (There’s an ancient saying: in soft, out hard!)
What? Isn’t lovemaking supposed to be filled with vigorous activity, stimulation, tension and release? Isn’t the purpose of sex to achieve the release of climax? Aren’t bigger, better and more frequent orgasms the goal?
In Peaceful Passion, sexual union creates intimacy. Intimacy, closeness, a sense of belonging. A sense of being seen (intimacy = in-to-me-see), being acknowledged, being present, one soul with another. At the same time, Peaceful Passion gives a delicious and juicy charge to our batteries!
Sexual union through Peaceful Passion enhances and celebrates an experience of deep love. Many people think that sex is the way to become intimate with your partner, but others want to feel intimately connected BEFORE engaging in sexual contact! This difference of thought often results in a misalignment of timing and intention. Peaceful Passion, providing both emotional AND sexual connection, is a worth-trying solution to this age-old relationship impasse.
When you share one another’s energy through Peaceful Passion, you create balance and a high level of alignment and purpose in your relationship. Even 10 minutes of Peaceful Passion can open you to an exciting flow of vitality that lasts all day.
In Peaceful Passion there is no need for traditional “foreplay” prior to genital connection. Are you ready to expand your understanding of orgasm to include a relaxed yet energizing expansive experience rather than an intensely focused lower chakra contraction/release? The potential for deep sexual satisfaction is greatest when both people are relaxed, conscious and aware, the keys to Peaceful Passion.
One reason is that Peaceful Passion encourages a circulation of energy through the chakras. Eye contact, allowing your Beloved to see into your eyes, helps bring that energy flow up through the heart. When sex and heart energy are integrated, a spiritual connection automatically follows. This connection with the Source of your life-force can easily shift your experience into a transcendent, ecstatic state. (Once you experience it for yourself, you’ll find your own descriptive words!)
There is also another reason why Peaceful Passion is so powerful. This reason is more scientific and has to do with the biochemical substances our bodies produce during arousal and climax. For example, whenever we connect intimately, there is an increase of “oxytocin,” a delightful hormone that directs us to enjoy bonding with the person who is touching us.
Climax and ejaculation produce an overload of “dopamine,” which we experience as a rush similar to adrenaline. (Dopamine is also responsible for the charge delivered by caffeine, drugs, high-energy sports and other potentially addictive activities.) Unfortunately, after the rush there is an inevitable crash as dopamine levels – and interest in our partner – drop quickly and abruptly. This dropoff of dopamine results an upsurge of a hormone called “prolactin.” According to Marnia Robinson, author of Peace Between the Sheets, high levels of prolactin cause us, among other symptoms, to actually withdraw from intimacy! How about that? Instead of being rewarded with greater feelings of closeness, what has been considered the ultimate act of making love can end up literally pushing us away from each other.
The Peaceful Passion approach to lovemaking may be revolutionary but it isn’t really new. The writings of ancient sages of various cultures and traditions encourage and guide us to explore the possibilities of loving without the goal of climax or ejaculation.
I look forward to any questions you may have about how to add Peaceful Passion to your sexual menu, as you transform your relationship into a Love Affair!!
Sourced and adapted from HERE
Jean-Pierre Hartman
Massage.co.za
Eckhart Tolle
Jeff Foster