embracing your innate beauty and perfection
Posts tagged Sexuality
You’re it!
Feb 17th
This post may seem way off the topic of touch and sexuality (just as many of the articles I post seem to be.) If you’re wondering why I post stuff that doesn’t seem relevant to sexuality and more along the lines of philosophy or spirituality, it’s because I write about my passions! So how do sexuality and spirituality go together? In my world – they do!
Sexuality IS life – it’s passion; it’s joy; it’s dance; it’s eating and drinking and loving and sharing and being in wonder at the moment which we breathe and move in. Sexual energy is life-force energy. Sexual expression is a celebration of life (or it can be that.) Sex is not just a genital affair. Sex is eyes, ears and mouth. Sex is feet and hands. Sex is fingers and toes. Sex is skin and hair. And when we touch sex we touch life. So enjoy!!
While on a recent journey, listening to music, it occurred to me that music is a form of worship. This idea is nothing new, but the experience was new to me. It is an offering to the Divine. Whether it be birds singing, or the music of rain falling, or one of the musicians I love so much, it is all an offering to the Divine, and the place where this worship is received (get this) is in Awareness. I am awareness, but no more so than you, and I am the space where the Divine receives these offerings of worship. And every single sincere song was written in hopes that one day, you, or I, would bring them into the sacred chapel of our awareness and give them audience, would receive the worship.
All the love ever offered to God, is directed to You. You’re It. You are the reason love songs were written. You’re the reason women pray to become pregnant. You are what honorable men go to war to protect. You are the reason worship was invented. And I am as serious as a heart attack. This is no airy-fairy, wouldn’t it be great if this were true, B.S. This IS the truth, as best I can see it and report it.
So, the next time someone suggests that you’re not good enough, first (in your mind at least) ask the question, “Good enough for whom?” Then realize that if they are talking about your ego, your identity, they could well be right. But if they are talking about You, they could not… be… farther… from the truth.
~ c a r s o n
Orgasmic Secrets
Dec 21st
ORGASMIC SECRET#1:
Orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct reflexes. They do not “have” to occur at the same time. A man does not “have to” experience ejaculation (or erection!) in order to experience orgasm, including multiple orgasms.
The assumption that ejaculation and orgasm are inextricable parts of the same reflex is largely the result of the way men during puberty typically “figure out” how to experience sexual peaks.
Most men learn this through masturbation… which for most adolescents (even across most cultures, it seems) is frequently shame-based, furtive, hurried, and involves a great deal of more or less continuous stimulation, often with relatively LOW levels of arousal, except arousal/excitement that concentrates in the genital area.
Since most men don’t understand how to allow and amplify arousal so it will spread throughout one’s body, rather than just concentrate in the genital area, the resultant “climaxes” are frequently only minimally satisfying. Men commonly report feelings of “Is that all there is?” as well as feelings of emptiness, and quite importantly, too often with accompanying feelings of resentment towards women who, in the minds of many men, “…get to have all they want.”
Most men haven’t understood how to truly separate arousal from ejaculation (but instead only to try to “control” or “block” the onset of the ejaculation reflex), and thus they feel “unfairly limited” by the refractory period (i.e., “the mandatory downtime” that nearly always follows male ejaculation between sexual activity sessions).
As a result, all too often it’s easy for men to slide into a spiral of despair, frustration, and resentment towards women, because they may never or nearly never feel really satisfied.
Second Secret
Dec 21st
ORGASMIC SECRET#2:
High levels of arousal are best learned by using surprisingly little (in fact, in the beginning, almost no) stimulation!
Orgasm is only indirectly a function of stimulation. Orgasm is primarily the result of arousal.
When we realize this fact, we can begin to identify and distinguish between the activities which “set the stage” for triggering the male ejaculation reflex versus those activities that will consistently trigger the spontaneous rushes of intense pleasure (i.e., the multiple orgasm reflex, as distinct from the ejaculation reflex) in both men and women.
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Activities leading to triggering ejaculation
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Patterns typically learned from childhood
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Activities leading to triggering multiple orgasm without requiring ejaculation control methods
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While learning how to open to multiple orgasms
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Characteristics of male orgasm with ejaculation
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Characteristics of male multiple orgasm without ejaculation
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Divine Humanness
Dec 13th
Here is a piece of writing that I thoroughly enjoyed. I think people mistakenly presume that transforming sexuality to something sacred and loving, means it loses it’s fire. Not so. You’d do well to read the entire article in order to get the full context, but if you only have time for a bite-sized portion – taste this!
In case it hasn’t been clear by now, intentional sexuality is hot. It’s fun, it’s erotic, it’s a remarkable form of play. It’s okay that it’s hot. It’s great that it’s hot; it’s Divine that it’s hot. For pagans and polytheists, this play is holy and invoking the energies of nature is holy. But even for monotheists and monists, if the manifest universe is an expression of the Divine, playing with Itself, coming to know Itself, loving Itself, then the more we immerse ourselves in that cosmic drama, the more we ourselves are expressing God. Becoming fully, electrically alive; growing exquisitely sensitive to eros – this is being and becoming aware of God Itself.
via Reality Sandwich | Intentional Sexuality: Possibilities and Perils.
I’d like to point out that no matter what your spiritual position might be, to embrace your physicality and your humanness is healthy. It does not mean you have to take on paganism or any form of belief that goes contrary to what feels right to you. It doesn’t even require you to be spiritual in any of the typical forms that we know. Your unique relationship with who you really are, is all that matters. What matters is whether you are able to step out of conventional thinking and to give up the comfort zone, in order to gain “heaven” – whatever heaven might mean for you.
More “what is tantra…”
May 4th
I keep finding new resources to send you to, instead of writing personal reflections of my own. Ah well, it’s all good. The following site has some very useful things to say about tantric understanding:
“What is Tantra?”
an interview with Tantric Master Prem PranamaThis interview occured in the summer of 1994. The interviewer, Ralph
Abrams, has been a spiritual seeker for the last 25 years. He has
worked with Swami Muktananda, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Chagdud Tulku,
Nagkpa Chogyum, Native American teachers and currently lives in the
Crazy Cloud Hermitage where he studies the Tantric path with Pranama.R: The word Tantra is thrown around quite a bit in spiritual circles
these days, and it often means very different things. I’d like to
start off with the simple question: What is Tantra?P: Tantra is the hot blood of spiritual practice. It smashes the taboo
against unreasonable happiness; a thunderbolt path, swift, joyful, and
fierce. There are many different types of paths. Some touch you like
a gentle spring rain, but Tantra is the wild summer thunder storm
churning with creation, destruction, bliss and emptiness. Tantra is a
wild mother tiger – if you approach her with right motivation, right
intention, and integrity, she’ll suckle you at her breast; but if you
come to her in a sloppy way, she’ll rip apart your body-mind, eat you
for dinner, and shit out what’s left.R: Wow! I think that this sense of joyful abandon and the force and
bliss you’ve described would make the Tantric path attractive to many
people. Plus the fact that it is known to be a very swift path to
enlightenment.P. Swift, yes. But the Tantric Vajrayana path is complex and can be
dangerous. It requires a strong, well integrated sense of self
prepared through careful preliminary practice. Otherwise it is
possible for the practitioner to make gross errors in judgment. On
the Tantric path, it is perhaps easier to become the ultimate form of
egohood and delusion than it is to become free. You can start off
intending to liberate the tyranny of ordinary appearance into
primordial awareness and end up crystallizing the ego into
diamond-hard delusion. There is no authentic Tantra without profound
commitment, discipline, intelligence, courage, and a sense of wild,
foolhardy, fearless abandon.R: It seems to me that there is a lot of information and books written
about sexual Tantra, and certainly more people are interested in that
than in other forms of Tantra. Perhaps they are seeking this bliss
courage that you mentioned earlier. Do you think that people
practicing sex yoga are by and large serious Tantric practitioners?P: Well, there’s no point in judging other peoples’ spiritual paths.
If your path is not authentic over time that becomes clear.
Traditionally, the use of sexuality in Tantra comes at a very
developed stage of the path. There is no sexual Tantra if one has not
transcended desire. Certainly a lot of people are trying to explore
and play with sexual energy, and that is great, and they are relating
it to the word Tantra because Tantra uses sexuality as part of the
path. We live in a seemingly open and permissive culture that
actually is very uptight, prudish and provincial. We hype neurotic
sense stimulation in order to sell everything from shampoo to
cars. Underneath, there is fear of everything genital.
Tantra, however, is not about sexuality. It is about enlightenment.
Compared to the bliss force of your true nature, the pleasure of
orgasm is pretty puny. The teachings can be used to bring a certain
degree of ordinary balance to the psyche, including openness about
sexuality. That’s a very good thing but let’s not stop at the doorway!R: Enjoying Tantra for the psychological help is good but no
substitute for radical absolute spiritual liberation.P: Right.
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