embracing your innate beauty and perfection
Posts tagged David Deida
Living as love
Sep 21st
Enlightened Sex is a term that means something similar to the meditative sex that I teach about in my sessions. David Deida addresses the subject beautifully in his book – Enlightened Sex. He says that:
The primary purpose of enlightened sex is not to fix anything or anyone. Nor is it to become absorbed in sensual pleasure, fleeting thoughts, or heavy emotions. The primary purpose of enlightened sex is to live as love by recognizing and relaxing into the open, unlimited, aware depth of being that you are, whether you feel good or bad in the present moment.
When you feel through all sensation, you feel into the open source of sensation. When you feel through all thoughts, you feel into the open space in which thoughts occur. When you feel through your sexual desire or aversion, you feel into the love that is living as you.
This open, spacious, loving nature is your true nature. The way of the superior lover is about practicing being who you truly are. It is not about changing yourself. It is about recognizing who you are, deeply and really—who you already are, who you have always been, and who you will always be. It is about becoming stable in this recognition, so that all of your actions—throughout the day and even during your dreams at night—radiate spontaneously from this relaxed and natural openness of being, rather than from your stressful needs and fears.
A great aid in stabilizing this recognition is opening the energy channels of your body, which can be done very effectively through the sexual practices we are describing. This healing process is not absolutely necessary, but most people do need to heal some internal obstructions in order to persist with adequate energy and attention in their practice of recognition.
In other words, if you are frequently distracted by the pleasures or pains of sex, then you won’t have the energy or attention to persist in recognizing who you are. Sexual wounds and desires are among the greatest sources of distraction, not just during sexual embrace but throughout the day. Much of our emotional suffering is rooted in our sexual hopes and fears.
If you don’t clear these knots, they can absorb your energy and nag at your attention, day and night. Rather than practicing meditation, you will fantasize about Mr. Right or your coworker’s shapely ass. Rather than practicing love, you will cram your mouth with food and slather your taste buds with drink because your partner left you for another lover. Even the most advanced spiritual practitioners are often plagued by their unfinished sexual business and emotional kinks.
Therefore, the first step for most people is to clarify their sexual desires and unkink the flow of energy trapped in their emotional wounds. But once that is done, and even while it is being done, the main point of practice is to free consciousness and live as love.
David Deida
SOURCED HERE (from a dear friend)
The Way of the Superior Man
Apr 20th
A superb piece of writing taken from a book I’m reading at the moment called The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida. I can so identify with the perspective of the male – and that incredible resistance but at the same time the pull to the freedom of death. Along with that, the longing as woman, to BE love.
I was inspired to quote this piece by my friend Rattan (love your latest post on feminine chaos – I know that SO well.) Thanks too to Deida:
“Men’s basic motivation is to be released from constraint and experience the freedom on the other side. What are some of the most common forms of masculine ecstasy? Orgasm is one. The typical masculine orgasm, as you probably know, involves a build-up of tension, or constraint, until the dam finally breaks, and your tension and energy are released. The post orgasmic state is one of death-like peace, an emptiness akin to a blissful oblivion. The masculine is always seeking this release in one way or another. This breakthrough into freedom, however it occurs, is the main motive of the masculine. All masculine goals—at work, on the meditation cushion, or on the football field—are directed toward more freedom.
The typical masculine desire for freedom involves the feeling of death, which is the ultimate masculine fear and freedom, in one way or another. Orgasm is actually called petite mort or “little death” in French. You say that you hope your favorite football team “kills” the other team, and you celebrate your financial “killings” with great glee. The capacity to face death for the sake of freedom, whether actually in war or ritually on the football field or chess board, is the ultimate masculine act, evoking men’s deepest emotions.
The same capacity to face death is necessary for spiritual freedom. To live free in spirit, you must be willing to face your fears and let go of anything that limits your love. The attachment to comfort and security is what limits most men in their capacity to make a spiritual touchdown. The other team is your own need for private security. You are fighting a war with your own self-sense. To be free is to die to your need to be a separate self. What, then, could be constrained? Ego death, absolute surrender to the point of oneness, is the ultimate freedom. Few men ever release themselves enough to relax in this depth of freedom because they are afraid of absolutely no stress. No stress means no thoughts, no sense of protected self, no mission to accomplish. The end of the masculine game.
Yet, this stress-free, unprotected end of the game is exactly what you are always seeking, through orgasm, financial killings, or winning a war. You are willing to experience lesser forms of masculine “death” and ecstasy, but you are unwilling to face the death of your separate self-sense, and finally be the freedom you have only allowed yourself to taste in moments.
The feminine, on the other hand, is not seeking freedom, but love. A woman’s bliss is not in emptiness, but in fullness. Her means is not release, but surrender. Her basic means toward spiritual unity is surrender into the devotional fullness of unbounded love, rather then breaking through the fear of ego-death into the unconstrained infinity of absolute freedom.
In the end, the feminine search for love and the masculine search for freedom reach the same destination: the unbounded and infinite ground of being who you are, which is both absolute love and freedom. “
David Deida on “Sexual Essence”
Dec 11th
The divine masculine in you is infinite consciousness. When you lose touch with it, you seek infinity in the confines of your life: your bank account, your fame, your achievements. Anything that gives you a whiff of breaking free into unbound no-stress — a touchdown, an ejaculation, or great professional victory — seems to be a source of almost sacred bliss.
The divine feminine in you is the force of life, the abundant energy, or light, of love. When you lose touch with it, you seek blissful fullness through the portals of your body, your senses, your relationships. Anything that overwhelms you in love’s fullness — from your children, to sex, to your favorite chocolate — can seem almost divine.
Every moment is an opportunity to open as your true divine nature, which is infinite consciousness and bountiful love. Most people, however, lose touch with their deepest openness. Feeling a lack, they become devotees of the scratch that fulfills their itch. They worship substitutes. The masculine literally worships achievement, understanding, and success, while the feminine is often devoted to angelic children, heavenly colors, luscious textures, flavors, and love-promising relationships.
Beautiful Women
Apr 20th
I enjoy reading David Deida’s books and have a few PDF’s written by him. I highly recommend that you look him up online. He writes a lot about sacred sexuality and has a fresh and alternative approach. Try this for size and please let me know what you think:
Your attraction to women, all kinds of women, is natural, normal, and beautiful. In fact, it is an aspect of the same desire that will ultimately lead you toward spiritual freedom.
Your desire for a woman is an aspect of your desire for pleasurable oneness. Your confession of desire is a confession of your desire to embrace life. To embrace life, to relax into oneness so that all opposites, including masculine and feminine, find their unity in love, is to be spiritually free. Eventually you will recognize that all desire is an aspect of your native impulse to give love. From beginning to end, your attraction to women can be seen as the essential gesture of your heart, your desire for love and unity
If you are a man with a masculine sexual essence, you will always feel sexual polarity with anyone who animates feminine energy. You may feel this attraction many times a day, with many women. Enjoy it. Women are a blessing! The feminine, even in the non-human forms of a lush tropical island, a cold beer, or your favorite tune, could make the difference between dreariness and ahhh-ing in ecstasy. Our acceptance of sexual attraction, even with music and places, is at the root of our capacity to experience bodily pleasure.
Sexual attraction, however, is very different from having sex. There is a big difference between choosing to be intimate with a woman and simply being attracted to her energy and radiance. Intimacy is a choice between people who want to commit to loving and serving one another. Whereas the zing of attraction is a choiceless natural flow of energy between your masculine core and feminine energy, wherever it is found. When a woman is relaxed in her feminine radiance, she is like beautiful music or a warm ocean breeze. You don’t need to have sex with her to savor inexpressible joy.
If you are like most men, a radiant woman can inspire you for hours or days. Remember, the desire she arouses in you is a blessing in itself. Acting on that desire and pursuing her is another matter entirely, dependent on whether such an action would truly serve both of you or not. But the mere inspiration felt while beholding a radiant woman is one of nature’s gifts to you: the gift of feminine blessing.
The next time you come upon a woman who sends a thrill through your body, relax into the thrill. Let her waves of feminine energy move through your body like a deep massage. Breathe fully, without resisting the joy her sighting affords you. Breathe the joy all through your body, down to your toes. Don’t stare at her, don’t even interact with her. But when you see her, and you experience your attraction, fully allow the energy of attraction to move freely through your body. Learn to magnify and sustain your desire, so your whole body and breath open and deepen by its force. As you behold her, receive her vision as a blessing.
Jean-Pierre Hartman
Massage.co.za
Eckhart Tolle
Jeff Foster