embracing your innate beauty and perfection
Sexuality
Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome
Jul 9th
A subject that I know needs greater recognition and understanding. II think it’s far more prevalent, perhaps in milder forms, than is recognized. I’m aware of it in myself and I watch the coming and going of the effects of it from time to time.
One solution is to learn to enjoy touch, pleasure and intimacy without the need to explode that out of your body in a typical way. I think if the effects of orgasm are so debilitating that you begin to wonder if you have a syndrome like this, you’d be motivated enough to for-go the momentary peaks of orgasm. This may take time and practice, but you may also discover something even more enjoyable. I suspect you will!
Contact me if you would like to know more on this, and to discover the greater pleasure.
Body Armouring
Jul 3rd
by Margo Anand
Healing Your Genital Armoring
Body armoring is a process whereby past traumatic experiences are stored in the body’s muscle tissues. What happens is that the body’s tissues harden, creating tension and blocking energy in the area that has been traumatized. By armoring itself, the body’s intention is to reduce its vulnerability to pain. But this process has the parallel effect of reducing our capacity for feeling pleasure.
In this regard the male and female sex organs are as prone to armoring as the rest of the body and can function at a reduced level of sensitivity. In fact, because the sexual organs have been subjected to vigorous condemnation from childhood onward, the genital area has become a major storehouse of negative imprints, greatly reducing our capacity for sexual pleasure and preventing full enjoyment of orgasmic release. Think about it for a moment. Traces of the emotional content of every unsatisfactory sexual experience have been recorded in the muscular tissues of your genitals, building up tension in the area so slowly that you did not even suspect that it was happening.
In men, circumcision, early experiences of guilt and fear associated with masturbation, clumsy prostatic examinations, and a compulsion to demonstrate “masculinity” by being forceful and thrusting in lovemaking all contribute to genital armoring. This armoring can manifest itself as a hardening of the penis, causing penile insensitivity that requires extremely strong stimulation in order to achieve arousal or, by contrast, it can result in an oversensitivity and fragility of the foreskin that translates into the attitude, “Don’t touch me!” Armoring in men also manifests itself in the form of chronic tension in the anal sphincter muscles, involuntary erections, and an attitude of sexual greed – the need for repeated genital stimulation.
In women, armoring can be caused by guilty masturbation, forceful male fingering, sexual intercourse without sufficient foreplay, making love when you don’t feel like it, failing to reach orgasm, having an abortion, or undergoing a caesarean birth or a hysterectomy. These contribute to the build-up of insensitivity in tissues around the vagina and pelvis. This tension manifests itself most commonly as a subtle tightness or stiffness in a vagina that never fully relaxes, even during intercourse. As a result, it is only narrowly receptive to the male organ.
Through working with many women, I have been able to create an “armoring map” of the vagina, showing how certain types of fears are related to specific areas of the female sex organs.
Vaginal lips: fear of opening, shame, desire to hide, a feeling of “l can’t do this!”
Clitoris: nervousness, distrust, impatience, holding tight, like clenching your fists or teeth when you don’t want to express your anger
Perineum and perineal sponge: difficulty letting go into pleasure, numbness
G spot: sexual frustration as a result of faking orgasm, performance anxiety, feeling inadequate, pushing for orgasm and not getting it
Vagina canal around cervix: anger, expecting the worst, neediness, feeling like a victim, abortions, and childbirth traumas
If you are not sure whether genital armoring applies to you, try answering these questions. Think about them slowly rather than giving a reflex response:
Women: Were you forced into sexual intercourse or sexual manipulation at an early age, before you were ready?
Have you ever made love because your partner was turned on, even though you didn’t feel like it?
Have you ever felt your partner left you “hanging in mid-air” while he was already “over the edge”?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Men: Have you ever made love as a performance, even though you had no enthusiasm for it?
Have you ever found yourself so busy giving pleasure to your woman that you forgot about your own pleasure?
Both: During sex have you ever found to your dismay that you couldn’t feel anything “down there”?
Have you ever made love as way of avoiding confrontation with your partner or covering up your anger?
Have you ever believed that everyone else was sexual and orgasmic, while you were lagging way behind, feeling just a trickle of a sensation?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably have some body armoring in your genitals. This armoring also translates into psychological attitudes -for instance, feeling uncomfortable talking about your sexuality or your genitals, or feeling discomfort when your lover examines your genitals. Working with hundreds of people, I have found that armoring seriously inhibits sexual sensitivity and therefore blocks deeper pleasure. I have also found that it is difficult for people to be open to the ecstasy of High Sex until the whole genital and anal area has been cleaned of imprints left by negative sexual experiences. Only through direct, hands-on, loving massage around and inside the genital area can we effectively heal these past wounds and transform pain into, pleasure. To do this we need to direct our full attention and acceptance to the way our genitals feel.
When the penis is healed, it becomes flexible, warm, and vibrantly alive when erect. In addition to the stimulation provided by vigorous sexual intercourse, this increased sensitivity enables the man to receive pleasure by resting his penis in the vagina in a gentle, relaxed, non-demanding way. Prior to healing, he may not have been able to feel anything without continued stimulation.
When the vagina is healed, it becomes naturally yielding, soft, and welcoming, allowing a sense of trust and playfulness in lovemaking. The vaginal muscles are elastic and respond to the penis by massaging it naturally.
Love and acceptance are the key ingredients for healing. That is why we need to understand the meaning of loving ourselves and our bodies before we can even think of making love with another person. Only then are we fully ready and available for the joys of ecstatic lovemaking.
Karezza
Jul 2nd
Here is an article (written in 1931) which I really enjoy. I love the word Karezza that is used to describe Sacred Sexuality. The article was written in a time when contraception was illegal.
What is Karezza?
Karezza is controlled non-seminal intercourse. The word Karezza (pronounced Ka-ret-za) is from the Italian and means a caress.
The first objection that is certain to meet one who would recommend Karezza is that it is “unnatural.” Noyes confronts this objection very ably, and it is indeed absurd, when you came to think of it, to hear men who drink alcohol, smoke, use tea and coffee, take milk, though adults, eat cooked food, live in heated houses, wear clothes, write books, shave their faces, use machinery, and do a thousand and one things which the natural man, the true aborigine, knew nothing of, condemn a mere act of moderation and self-control in pleasure as “unnatural.”
In successful Karezza the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied, demagnetized, as perfectly as by the orgasm, while the rest of the body of each partner glows with a wonderful vigor and conscious joy, or else with a deep, sweet, contentment, as after a happy play; tending to irradiate the whole being with romantic love; and always with an after-feeling of health, purity and well-being. We are most happy and good-humored as after a full meal. Whereas, if there has been an orgasm, it is the common experience that there is a sense of loss, weakness, and dispelled illusion; following quickly on the first grateful feeling of relief. There has been a momentary joy, but too brief and epileptic to make much impression on consciousness, and now it is gone, leaving no memory. The lights have gone out, the music has stopped. The weakness is often so severe as to cause pallor, faintness, vertigo, dyspepsia, disgust, irritability, shame, dislike, or other pathological or unloving symptoms. This especially on the man’s part, but perhaps to some extent on the woman’s part too. Even if no more, there is lassitude, sudden indifference, a wish to sleep. A wet blanket has fallen for the time at least, on the flame of love. Romance drops and crawls like a winged bird. In Karezza, on, the contrary, the partners unfold and separate reluctantly, lingeringly, kissing, clinging, petting to the last, thrilled with and rehearsing memories, glowing with an affection and admiration which they feel can never end.
It would appear that in the orgasmal embrace the life-force is thrown off with such suddenness and volume that it is quite impossible for the partner to receive or assimilate much of it, therefore most of it is utterly wasted.
For this reason, the orgasmal-embrace is a most clumsy and disappointing thing when employed as a love-embrace. Nature meant it only for propagation and its whole modus operandi is calculated to check love, defeat love, and turn love into indifference or aversion. The more frequently it is employed, the more love dies, romance evaporates, and a mere sexuality, a matter-of-fact relation, or plain dislike, takes the place of the glamour of courtship days. On the contrary, Karezza makes marriage more delicious than courtship, more romantic than wooing, and maintains an endless, satisfying honeymoon.
There is an increase of attractiveness and magnetism of each for each, a growth of satisfaction in each other’s society, affection, and caressing becomes a sweet habit. Nothing else known makes the course of true love run so smooth as Karezza.
The orgasm is not always, but very commonly followed by a greater or less degree of exhaustion, perhaps extreme, but Karezza, unless repeated to excess, or practiced between the mis-mated, is never followed by exhaustion, but often by a delightful glow and joy in life. The usual sequel to the orgasm is demagnetization, indifference, too frequently irritability, disgust, repulsion and a craving for stimulants, but Karezza irradiates the whole being with tender, romantic, peaceful love. This, so far as I know, is universal experience, therefore merely needs to be stated to show how healthful an influence Karezza must wield. As a matter of fact, because of the tonicity, glow and vigor it bestows on the sexual parts and its wine-like inspiration of the spirit of the partners, with no reaction, it is one of the best hygienic agencies for the benefit and cure of ordinary sexual weaknesses and ailments – leucorrhea, displacements, prolapsus, bladder-troubles, simple urethritis, prostatitis, etc., known. And I say this from actual knowledge. I have known it to act like magic in painful menstruation and in prostatitis. But remember, I am always speaking of its exercise between those who are naturally fitted to respond and who really love each other, who honor their bodies and would not knowingly abuse them. As a mere sex-experiment it might be of little value or satisfaction. It appears to be perfect or poor, just about in proportion to the greater or less amount of heart-love involved. At least it imperatively demands kindness, tenderness, chivalry on the man’s part, a pleased acceptance and relaxation on the woman’s; and the more refinement, poetry of feeling and mutual romance the better – any amount can be utilized. The gross, reckless and lustful may as well let it alone – it is not for them.
As a nerve sedative its effect is remarkable. I have known it to instantly cure a violent, even agonizing nervous headache, a restful nap following upon the cessation of pain. Under a strong, gentle magnetic man, a nervous woman often falls into a baby-like sleep, in the very midst of the embrace, and this is felt to be a peculiar luxury and coveted experience. Many women call Karezza “The Peace”; others call it “Heaven.” This alone is a testimony worth volumes.
Now I do not apprehend, from all I have seen of life, that Karezza will ever come into vogue from the male side of the world. Men seem united in their dull, lethargic indifference to it. Helplessly or selfishly they say it is impossible, and let it go at that, rather than make the little effort required to perfect themselves in it. They would preferably choose, or rather oblige their women to choose, something out of the nerve-shocking, disgusting, disease-producing outfit of douches, drugs, tampons, plugs, pessaries, shields, condoms, and save them all further responsibility in the matter, although the highest authorities admit none of these resources are really safe, that is sure, contraceptives, and most of them are decidedly injurious. Only the absence of semen is safe, and that is found in Karezza and in Karezza alone. But perhaps the most clinching condemnation of these methods, to a refined person, is that pronounced by a fine woman of my acquaintance, “There is not one of these methods that does not destroy, for the woman, all the poetry of the act.” Only in Karezza is the poetry fully preserved, and not only that, but made capable of development to the most refined nuances of artistic and ingenious delight. Only to the Karezza-lover is the Art of Love possible in any sense worthy of the name. All the others begin the performance by shutting off the music and throwing away the wine.
But as the Woman Movement grows I am sure Karezza will come into its own. As women learn its transcendent importance to their happiness and health, they will demand it and refuse all men that cannot supply that demand. That will be a force that cannot be withstood.
Woman is by birth the Queen of Love and will certainly assume her inheritance and control in her own sphere and realm.
Extracted from SacredTexts
MAKING LOVE?
Jun 30th
(I’d say this must be one of the most profound teachings on the subject, that I’ve ever read.)
An extract from Barry Long’s book MAKING LOVE ~ SEXUAL LOVE THE DIVINE WAY – a turning point in the understanding of love on the planet.
I teach man and woman how to be true to love and how to be honest in their relationships. I help them to discover a divine love beyond all sexual imagining. The key to the mystery of divine love is to see love as it is, and not as you think it or imagine it.
The cause of most of the unhappiness on earth is that man and woman have actually forgotten how to make physical love. This is the greatest tragedy of all time. The forgetfulness has been going on and slowly getting worse for so many thousands of years that it’s now a tragedy for the whole of mankind. There can be no mass solutions. The problem is too personal and too deep. Everybody has to do it for himself or herself, or it can’t be done.
*
Woman’s basic unhappiness, her perennial discontent, is because man can no longer reach her physically. Her emotional excess, depressions, tearful frustrations, even premenstrual tension and the conditions leading to hysterectomy and other uterine problems, are due to man’s sexual failure to gather or release in lovemaking her finest, fundamental, female energies. These extraordinarily beautiful divine energies are intense and exquisite and when left untapped in woman, as they are now, they degenerate into psychic or emotional disturbances, and eventually crystallise into physical abnormalities. The womb gives birth to all things.
Man’s basic unhappiness, his perennial restlessness, is because in forgetting how to make love he’s abandoned his original divine authority and lost sexual control of himself. His emotional or psychic degeneracy manifests as sex obsession. All men, without exception, are sex obsessed. This means compulsive sexual fantasising, chronic masturbation (even when living with a partner), sex repression leading to anger and violence, and the universal symptoms of chasing wealth and getting lost in work. Busyness and wealth-gathering compensate for being an inept lover and are cover-ups (in both sexes) for the inability or fear to love.
Because of his neglect of love, neglect of woman, man suffers from premature ejaculation, guilt, anxiety self-doubt, impotence, sexual atrophy masquerading as sexual disinterest, sexual abstinence due to repressed fear of failure, sexual bravado and lack of true wisdom – all of which he inflicts on woman, aggravating her basic discontent and his own restlessness.
No matter how much a woman loves her man and wants to give her love to him, she will not and cannot give up all her divine energies if he is not yet himself, fully integrated or aligned with love. As very few men are themselves, the gap of unhappiness between man and woman keeps on growing.
To be a fully integrated male, a man has to assimilate in his body the divine female energies that woman can only release to him through right physical lovemaking. But the man has to be man enough. He has to be able to love her enough; that is, love her selflessly during the actual act of lovemaking. He has to be able to absorb and express sufficient love in his body to reach the highest part of her, and love enough to extract the divine energies from her deepest centre. To be able to love in this way is the authority man has lost – his only true authority over woman.
This requires pure love. It does not depend on technique. A man may develop his sexual technique but he cannot use expertise to make divine love. Exciting sensations are gratifying and give him a form of authority, but they are not the love that woman craves. He may satisfy her, like a good meal. But soon she hungers again and eventually despises her appetite or herself, because she knows she is not being loved.
*
Man has failed to serve love and failed physically to serve woman, who is the personification of love. The penalty for man is woman’s tyrannous emotionality. Wherever he loves, or tries to love, she will one day shock him, stun him, devastate him by suddenly revealing herself as the fiendess, the living demon of emotion.
The fiendess shows herself when he is attached and can’t just walk away. A man who has not yet experienced the hatred of the fiendess has not yet experienced love. A woman who has not yet seen herself being the fiendess has not yet connected with her love.
To man, the fiendess of emotion in woman is hell on earth. This is the part of her he cannot handle or understand. The demon of his own failure to love comes to life to scorn, abuse and torment him. He is terrified of it. He bluffs and blusters his way through. But finally, as he grows old in the relationship and gives up for the sake of some peace, the fiendess will conquer him and force him to surrender the last vestige of his manliness and authority. Then they both grow old together, feeling safe, but half dead as they lean on each other in the awful world of compromise.
While the world continues as it is, the fiendess will not allow man to forget his failure to love woman rightly. Woman must be loved. The future of the human race depends on woman being loved because only when woman is truly loved can man be truly himself and regain his lost authority. Only then can peace return to earth. Yet woman as she is now cannot be loved for long (or for good) by man as he is now. Together they are trapped in a vicious cycle and if left to their own ideas of love, there is no way out for them.
*
Woman has learned to make love through man who does not know how to make love. Hence the dreadful mess that love is in. Since time began she has been manipulated and encouraged to feel that the finest expression of her love is to please man sexually. The truth is the other way around. The finest expression of love is to have man delight her sexually. This he can only do when he can forget his preoccupation with orgasm and be sufficiently selfless or present in love to collect and receive her divine energies. For him, these are the finest expression of her love.
By teaching her to please him and satisfy him down through the ages, man has taught woman to desire him, to project herself sexually, to make herself attractive to him. He addicted her to an emotional and physical craving for his sexual attention. And he did this by neglecting to love her.
Woman had no affirmation of love, her true nature, since there was no man to love her rightly. So she settled for sexual excitation, which man had persuaded her was love. Men addicted her to this by teaching her that there is no purpose to physical love outside of making babies or selfish pleasure.
Man in his selfishness taught woman to be selfish. He taught her to excite him physically whenever love was not present; to project herself sexually for their mutual entertainment through clothing, make-up, dance and posing. And he encouraged her to let him excite her (and himself) through digital stimulation of her clitoris to the point of orgasm, instead of loving the beauty of her whole body.
The loveless narcotic of sex numbed her and like all addictions, engendered fear – fear of losing him or his attention, and fear of other women in the form of jealousy and female competition. If she didn’t satisfy him another woman soon would. And with this went the intimidating thought sown in her by all her sexual partners: that if she didn’t comply she’d be left alone.
As a reaction to this male infamy woman discovered cunt power – the power to tease man and manipulate him without delivering the goods, or by denying the goods when he wanted them. But the spell of cunt power, being largely imaginary, soon wore off after she let him enter her body. He would soon tire of her and go off with another.
Woman’s subconscious dependence on the fluctuating sexual attention of men rules her choice of partner. She may go for either an exciting man whom she thinks she can control, or an agreeable and safe partner whom she can quietly bend to her wants. Both kinds of partnership usually end – either in disaster or boredom and indifference.
*
Male sexuality is put into woman in sexual intercourse and, because it is substantive, it stays on in her. Its effect is a periodic wispy shadow of depression that she can’t explain but accepts as normal. It clouds her perception, making her feel emotional and not herself. The same male sexuality is the active outgoing selfish drive which made the world a violent and loveless place. In woman, this destructive shadow of man subtly influences her choice of partner. So very seldom is he Mr Right.
The male shadow in her is doubt. And it is the shadow that chooses. While woman wants the right to choose she has to make a choice; and then she must live with the shadow, doubt, in the man and in herself.
Woman in her natural state is not dependent on man. She loves him. And in love there is no dependence, and no fear of losing. She is the passive, attracting principle. She is an irresistible living magnet. She draws to herself a right man to love her truly and divinely. There’s no choice in it.
For woman today to return to her natural golden state – of pure love – takes time. But having suffered enough from man’s sexuality, she gradually learns not to compromise when there is not enough love. Finally this brings her a man who can remove the shadow from his love.
A woman is only ever less than her true nature because of man’s lack of love. She went off into her dream of love to escape his sexuality. Her babies have long been a substitute for his love. Unlike man, a real woman can exist without sexual intercourse or masturbation. She waits for love, not sex. Woman only lusts for man when she identifies with the male sexuality he has induced in her. ‘Nymphomania’ is a male invention and fantasy projection, like sex-shops, pornography and prostitution, all kept going by male sexuality and lack of love in all concerned.
Woman has been utterly fooled by man, pathologically brainwashed. And as modern woman congratulates herself on her progress in breaking down male domination in the world, she fails to perceive that she is as firmly hooked as ever on his orgasmic sexuality and his clitoral substitute for love. Her protests are really about love, not equality; but that’s not heard in the strident male arena.
It is man’s world and he built it on the strength of sexual aggression. Male domination began in sex and in sex it continues unabated. Woman cannot alter this position by marching with banners or withdrawing from sex. She has tried all the means at her disposal down through the centuries; none has worked and none will. The solution is for her to be in command of love. That does not mean to be in command of the man. It means to know inside herself what is right and true and stick to that, even if it means the man leaves her. Woman is love. All she has to do is realise that, by giving up her self doubt and fear.
Barry Long
An extract from Making Love
© The Barry Long Trust
Men’s great desire
Mar 2nd
Men love to please women!
Most men that I speak to, tell me that what they love most is to experience a woman in pleasure. The challenge they face is knowing how to get that right – particularly with “their” woman.
One of the reason why men love to please women is because of what it does for them physically. It turns them on and excites them. A second reason is that it feeds into their ego desire to “win” with a woman.
Women can sense if your wish to please her has more to do with your ego or your fantasies, than with her pure being and with your pleasure in being with the real her. Women sense when they are meant to be playing into a man’s fantasy and they have no idea how to fulfill this fantasy image in your head. Many women withdraw from living out their sexuality fully, if they feel it needs to look a certain way in order to meet their partner’s mental image. The image is not the problem – the problem is when you confuse her with the image!
A good test of what your desire to please a woman is really about is to ask yourself whether you’ve ever taken the time to talk to her about what works or doesn’t work for you both. Most men would rather do what they believe she wants or what would most excite them mentally and erotically when giving to her. True pleasure is when your giving pleases you physically more than mentally. And woman can feel the difference.
Many women find it difficult to express themselves sexually or to know for themselves what it is that they enjoy, but here lies your true challenge – to support her in discovering and expressing her truth …
If your giving is more about your fantasies or your ego, you will be more in your head than in your body – and woman can sense this. When you’re with a woman, BE with her, physically and mentally – and she will open to you in ways you haven’t dreamed of.
In my experience and understanding, what pleases women most is a man who is fully present with her with all of his attention and energy. This means giving up the distractions in your mind and simply being with what is right there in the room with you. It means not being distracted by your ego’s desire to be “successful” in pleasing her. If you stop striving to please her, she may equally stop demanding to be pleased. Women need to be given the opportunity and the space and the encouragement to own their own pleasure. You can support her in getting there.
Be willing to be fully with her and to get into how it feels to feel her, and to feel how you feel when you do this. This is a fully embodied experience. The sessions offered here can assist you in understanding this and making it a part of your loving.
A truly balanced man has learned how to step right into his pleasure in his body, instead of getting off on her pleasure. A truly balanced woman has learned to take responsibility for her own longing for connection and intimacy and to not depend on her partner to take her there.
Only when a man is tapping into his own sexual essence, can he really offer his partner anything. Men are built to feed women with their essence. Most men have forgotten how to hold their essence and energy in such a way that women can draw on it.
I would love to show you how …
A Woman’s pleasure
Mar 2nd
When a women is in full alignment with her feminine essence, she enjoys being in her body in the way of
water. She prefers to flow and blend and melt into her lover. She loves slow breathing, lots of eye contact, honest communication and authentic sharing before inching towards the planes of pleasure. When she feels her desire awakening, she loves to relish it and to feel her partner doing the same ~ relaxed and in awe of the rising vibrations between them. After drinking her fill of this, she may then want to take a break before returning to a slightly higher level of passion and to playing and “dancing the moment” there. Back and forth ~ deeper and deeper. She has no agenda and she isn’t driven to chase anything or to achieve any goal.
A truly feminine women loves to gradually e
xpand into her sexual energy, with no force or haste. She’s built to unfold like a flower in the sun. Her body is delicate and her genitals are sensitive. She loves to feel the throb and pulse of her body awakening, without being over-stimulated. She cannot feel her pleasure when she is handled roughly or casually. She enjoys holding her attention and her awareness on where her body is opening and responding. She can’t do this if her lover is “too busy” with her. She wants to sense his energy building in his body as he opens and expands and fills with desire, but she likes to sense this and taste of it in the spaces between and around them ~ through his eyes and heart, not his groping hands or his grinding loins.
She loves to feel the gentle pulse of a man’s desire deep within her but it can take a while
before she is ready for that level of merging. Once there, she loves to ride wave after wave of bio-electric energy. This opens her further, but she needs her delicacy to be appreciated. She doesn’t want to have to worry about protecting her body or her subtle energy. She wants to feel safe and held in loving tenderness. She delights in meeting your adoring eyes as she dances in this way. She loves to surf in the ecstasy of her undoing and the shared dissolving. She loves to be free of her mind and to lose herself and she really loves to sense that her lover is equally lost in the present moment.
If a women drifts slowly away from the bedroom ~ looking back with a slight longing for more ~ she will stay smiling for days.
Poetry for the weekend
Feb 19th
“If one wishes to be a lover, he must start by saying ‘YES’ to love. A
lover says yes to life, yes to joy, yes to knowledge, yes to people,
yes to differences. He realizes that all things and people have
something to offer him, that all things are in all things.”
Leo Buscaglia
GRAMMAR
Maxine, back from a weekend with her boyfriend,
smiles like a big cat and says
that she’s a conjugated verb.
She’s been doing the direct object
with a second person pronoun named Phil,
and when she walks into the room,
everybody turns:
~
some kind of light is coming from her head.
Even the geraniums look curious,
and the bees, if they were here, would buzz
suspiciously around her hair, looking
for the door in her corona.
We’re all attracted to the perfume
of fermenting joy,
~
we’ve all tried to start a fire,
and one day maybe it will blaze up on its own.
In the meantime, she is the one today among us
most able to bear the idea of her own beauty,
and when we see it, what we do is natural:
we take our burned hands
out of our pockets,
and clap.
~
by Tony Hoagland
The eyes have it: Why a steady gaze is the secret to finding love
Feb 16th
Want to be a successful flirt?
Then you had better master the art of good eye contact and a winning smile.
Researchers have shown that faces are rated as more attractive if they are gazing directly at the viewer – rather than looking slightly to one side.
The powerful effects of confident eye contact are strongest when someone is smiling, psychologists report today.
However, the shifty and the shy, who find it hard to look others in the face, are regarded as far less attractive, a study found.
The look of love: Researchers have shown that faces are rated as more attractive if they are gazing directly at the viewer (posed by models)Dr Ben Jones, of Aberdeen University, said eye contact was often neglected in discussions about what makes someone attractive. Yet the ability to look another in the eye could make the difference between getting or not getting a job, making a friend or finding love.
Most people regard it as a sign that someone is interested in them or attracted to them, he said.
“People are attracted to people who seem to like them,” he added. “What this study shows is that not all attractiveness is down to physical characteristics.”
The ability to look another in the eye could make the difference between finding love (above Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)Dr Jones and colleagues, who report their findings in the science journal Proceedings of the Royal Academy B, asked 1,000 student volunteers and people visiting a website to rate a series of computer-generatedfaces.
Identical pairs of faces were doctored so that one face stared directly at the viewer, while the other gazed slightly to the left or the right.
The volunteers were shown images of men and women, and of faces smiling and looking disgusted, and asked to name the more attractive face. Faces that looked directly at the viewer were consistently rated more highly. The effect was strongest when the faces were smiling, and when they belonged to the opposite sex, the scientists found.
However, when the faces were unhappy, eye contact made no difference to their attractiveness.
“There have been lots of studies on what makes faces attractive, but most have focused on physical characteristics,” said Dr Jones.
“We looked at the effect of gaze direction – which is something that changes second by second. We found that people preferred faces that were looking at them more than faces that were looking away.”
Past research at Aberdeen has shown that people with symmetrical faces are regarded as more attractive than those who are a lop-sided.
Dear Lover (Deida)
Feb 1st
“Like every man or woman, sometimes I want to flow and enjoy feminine energy and sometimes I want to go straight ahead toward a goal in the masculine style with no interruptions. But my sexual essence happens to be masculine, and so I am attracted to you, a lover with a feminine essence.
I know what I want sexually from you, dear lover. I want to see your feminine light and feel your invitation to merge with your feminine energy. I want to enter and claim your feminine heart open to God. I want to inhabit your loving surrender and open in love’s bliss with you not simply as friends, but as lovers in the play of passion and ravishment.
And yet I often feel you closing down or pushing me away. Sexually, I sometimes feel your coldness and resistance more than your joy of surrender. I know that sometimes it is my fault. I have been insensitive or cruel. And I know sometimes you are just too tired to open. But there are times that I don’t feel your heart open to receive my love even when you seem full of energy and I am fully present with you.
I want to enjoy deep sexual loving with you, but I also want both of us to open for the sake of everyone. I want our bedroom to be a palace of bliss, but I also want our hearts to give their gifts all day, so we live as the fulfillment of love, always opening, feeling everyone, making love through all our daily actions and relationships. I want you to open to me and I want to give you everything, but I also want both of us to open, feel, and offer ourselves to everyone all day.
I hope that together we can liberate our true hearts from our cages of fear. Then, our bodies can merge open in sexual delight and our hours can come and go as love all day.”
from “Dear Lover” by David Deida
3 Tantra basics
Jan 1st
I have borrowed these exercises from a site I visit regularly. Enjoy!
“There are three exercises that I always teach as the basis for any Tantric work. They are Deep Belly Breathing, the PC Pump and the Pelvic Tilt. It’s best to learn each independently first so they are second nature. After that, you learn to combine the three.
The Breath
It’s always best to start with the breath. You would be amazed at how difficult it
can be to breathe correctly. Some people cannot feel their bodies. If you are one of these people don’t give up, just keep trying and with practice you will get it. You want to really concentrate on taking a slow full breath in. Expand your belly, give room for your lungs to expand fully. Then when you want to exhale, just relax. Again, this may sound easy, but if you experience difficulty in isolating your belly and getting it to go out on the inhale lie down on the floor on your back. Put your hands on your stomach or a book or something so your awareness has somewhere to concentrate the sensation on.
When I coach, I always suggest starting any practice slowly so that you actually end up doing it. For most people an hour commitment every day just seems too difficult so they never begin. But if you start with three or four minutes a day, just lying in your bed before getting up, breathing deeply and consciously, you might actually keep doing it for more than two days. Then the more you do it, the more desire you have to remember to breathe this way. As time goes by you might want to more of it in the morning because it feels so good. You might even start to think of it in the middle of the day and check in on your body to see if you are breathing deeply or not.
People often wonder why I suggest learning this and stress it so much- it’s because there is nothing on the planet that brings us into our bodies and brings us more present to the now than the breath. It’s life and increases life force in our bodies, opening up orgasmic channels that help kundalini to flow.
The PC Pump
Wom
en have been taught about this, the Kegel or PC (pubococcygeus) muscle, and how to exercise it for childbirth for years. We have been told that it reduces the incidence of incontinence that can develop with age. What isn’t communicated, however is the importance of this exercise for men. Studies have shown that doing this exercise reduces prostate problems in men.For both sexes, this exercise enhances your sexual experience. For men it is the basic exercise for learning ejaculatory control and for beginning to learn to be multi orgasmic.
For women, it helps bring on orgasm and enhances your sexual experience, too. If you are a heterosexual woman, you can really enhance both of your and your partner’s experience by learning to milk his vajra (Tantric word for penis. Another is lingham) with your muscles… it feels great to him and wonderful for you.
Some people have a hard time finding the muscle, but it can be easily learned. You just use the same muscles that you contract to stop the flow of urine. If you have any question as to what that feels like or which muscles you are supposed to be using, then practice the next time you pee. When you tighten the right muscle the flow of urine stops. You can start and stop numerous times to integrate the feeling. Then just replicate that feeling when not urinating, going back to checking when you are, just to make sure you have the right muscles. Many people think they are doing the right ones when they are really just contracting their lower stomach muscles. It’s really a good thing to check.
Once you get the basic feeling down, you can play with the the PC Pump in a variety of ways: try tightening lots of times really fast. Then tighten it slowly or alternate fast and slow.Try doing it R…E…..A….L…L..Y slowly, hold, then slowly release.Tighten it to about a third of the way, then again tighter, then again. Then go down in increments.For women, when you reach the bottom, bulge that muscle out like you are pushing a baby out. This is one exercise to begin to ready your body for ejaculation, ladies.
For the women: you can stick you finger inside yoni as you do the exercises to understand the feelings and to give yourself a sort of visual or more integrated kinesthetic knowing of your body. This can be especially helpful when learning milking.
The Pelvic Tilt:
When first learning this one, I have found that the easiest way to feel the sensation is to lie down on your back with knees bent, feet flat on the ground. Take your fingers and fe
el the area right above cheeks of your butt. Most people have a bit of an indentation on either side of the top of a triangle bone called the sacrum. The bone then continues down into a point about five to six inches or so. This is where you focus.
Usually when lying down in this position, there is a natural curve to the back, with this triangle,or sacrum, slightly arched, leaving a space right above it between your back and the floor. To get the motion down, tighten your thighs a bit and flatten only that sacrum part of your lower butt/back to the floor. Don’t round your whole back, just that part moves. Now press it under a bit more, arching the pubic bone up and tilting it at an angle. Then release and arch it the other way slightly exaggerating the space between the back and the floor. Again…this does not involve the whole back, just that sacrum area.
Try it a few times, then when you feel comfortable, do it rhythmically to a very slow beat, arching first one way then the other. Once feel you have the sensation of what it is supposed to feel like with the added pressure of the floor, you can then sit a zafu (or other pillow) on the floor or on a chair with no arms. Sit up straight on the edge of the chair, spread your legs and begin the motion in that position. Again..all movement is just in that lower part of the body- only movement below the waist should be going on. You can imagine that your pelvis is on a fulcrum moving back and forth while the rest of the body sits still.
Once you have this down, you can practice it in a variety of positions, always focusing on isolating that very lowest part of your body. Eventually you will feel so at ease with this, the Breath and the PC Pump exercises that you will be able to combine them for enhanced meditation practice, increasing orgasmic energy flow throughout the body, controlling sexual orgasmic release and grounding.”
What is Authentic Sexuality?
Jan 1st
A valuable article from Deva Charu. Much of what she says is what I’ve found to be true in so many ways:
As the things that used to titillate me and turn me on dissolve, I find myself asking what is it to be ‘turned on’ when it does not come from my brain?
It seems to me that most of the things that are sexually exciting to us as human beings fall under one of the following categories:
1. forbidden in some way eg. making love in public
2. inaccessible, unrequited eg. lusting after someones spouse
3. ‘bad’, unethical, just plain ‘wrong’ eg. sleeping with someones spouse, a teacher, co-worker
4. shameful eg. longing for some sordid sexual act
5. punish-able eg. (see ‘bad’, unethical)
6. somehow involving control eg. a feeling ‘if I am sexy enough to win this persons attention, I have ‘won’ control over them
For some(most) of us, we have been raised so isolated from sex and sexuality that we are turned on by anything sexual because to us it somehow falls into one of these categories.
And yet, when we find ourselves in loving, committed relationships, these elements are generally not a part of it, or if they are, the novelty wears off after a while and we are left with a person we love, who loves us and…??? How in the world do you get turned on within such freedom and love?
I always had a feeling that most of the time when I felt ‘titillated’ it came from my brain…being a meditator I imagined that as I let go of listening to what my mind was telling me, and little by little found my way back to the wisdom of my body, that all of these turn-ons would go away and I would begin to discover what is ‘authentic sexuality’.
I believe that I have had moments of this. The first of which occurred for me in India at the Osho commune. Each evening we would do a 3 hour meditation which involved dancing, listening to a lecture, speaking gibberish (making sounds), and resting silently…whenever I would participate in this meditation I would feel my heart open, and with it, my vagina. I would often leave the meditation hall feeling a slippery wetness dripping down my legs…I felt very alive, and none of it came from stimulating my brain or what I had come to believe was sexy. It was simply a bodily response.
I have also felt this several times within my relationship, moments when I have felt so loved, and allowed myself to receive that love…as my heart would open, my vagina would open in a completely genuine, alive delicious way.
…and, of course, one of the main things that drew me to Tantra, and that keeps me consistently dedicated to this practice is that in Tantra I have often felt the sweet, authentic, connected opening that I so long for.
Several times in my life, including right now, I have felt a wall come up, or a switch has been flipped ‘off’. The things that once turned me on no longer do and I feel strange and slightly less than human.
Although I regularly practice opening my heart and my body, it seems that the door to my authentic sexuality does not yet know how to stay open consistently and I find myself in an uncomfortable numbness. Or perhaps it is that as I am opening more and more and journeying deeper into unknown territory inside of me, I am gradually uncovering walled-off areas that I had been able to avoid when I was more disconnected. Perhaps there was a more comfortable layer of behavior that has been burned away by the meditation and I am sitting with parts of myself that I had been safely avoiding.
My intuition says that something beautiful is happening for me, that I am meeting a new side of myself and as I allow myself to feel what is happening in my body, I will begin to discover a new level of authenticity…perhaps make new ground-breaking discoveries about what is available between man and woman. Perhaps touch the depths of myself on a new level and learn to experience even more of life, even more of lovemaking, even more intimacy.
In the meantime, I am having trouble letting go and allowing. I feel confused, frustrated and wrong for experiencing this. I feel a responsibility to satisfy my partner, I feel a pressure from within to ‘hurry up and get through this’ so that I can again feel alive the way that I once did.
I am afraid of the unknown. Afraid of what comes after this point.
The point beyond excitement into a discovery of essential arousal.
in love,
Charu
Losing control / premature ejaculation
Jan 1st
One of the more common reasons that male clients come to see me, has to do with “premature ejaculation.” Surprisingly, many men feel that they are the exception in this, rather than the norm. There is also a fair amount of uncertainty on when one should tag on the label - as in how premature is premature?
Looking at the word premature, it implies being not yet mature – or ripe. In that sense, it would be premature to end something that you want to continue enjoying. Unfortunately for most couples, orgasmic release generally ends things. This sense of “losing control” can be frustrating and disappointing – not at all what one wants to add into the mix of concerns we already have to deal with. So why is this chase and avoidance causing so much distress?
When it comes to sex, most people expect things to ultimately climax in “an orgasm.” I remember a few years ago how hard I used to have to work to arrive at this desired outcome. And to tell you a secret, it wasn’t just my orgasm that seemed hard to come by – so to speak. One of the the things that spurred me into exploring sexuality with such intensity, was my frustration at the way sex seemed so not what I felt in my gut that it could be. In fact I left my marriage at a cost to all I believed and trusted, because I reached a point where I knew that the sex was just never going to change and I couldn’t face living with it the way it was.
A lot of what I love about meditative sex is that orgasmic release is no longer the peak moment. In fact chasing orgasm or it’s opposite – trying to delay or avoid one – can become such a focal point that “the moment” is lost. When you drop the desire for building tension in order to explode that tension out again, you step into the bliss of being. You find that you’re now free to enjoy fully and intensely within a space of deep relaxation.
How do you like to be touched?
Dec 30th
When you think about it, foreplay is really about touch.
Most women are very sensitive to the quality and intent of touch. The best way to see this is to do the following simple
exercise that will only take 5 minutes of your time.
Tell your lover that you are going to touch in different ways for one minute at a time. Now touch your partner only from the fingers to the elbows.
Now each minute touch a different way and tell your partner when you are changing but not what you are doing different.
* Touch like you are massaging.
* Touch with your mind on work, money etc
* Touch with total concentration on the sensations under your fingers and the pleasure of this.
* Touch to try to turn on your lover.
Now have a discussion on which type of touch felt more erotic and sensual.
Take turns and swap roles and then compare notes.
Most people find that paying a lot of attention to the sensations when touching, allows the receiver to feel much more pleasure.
One could call this being present in the touch. Many women find it difficult to find a man that is really present in lovemaking.
Most men seem to focus on trying to turn on their lover and are very goal orientated. This simple exercise shows how easy it is to be more present in one’s touch.
MAURICE TATE
Bliss trance states
Dec 10th
The following piece is from the e-newsletter of an American sex educator by the name of Maurice Tate. He’s quite an unusual person and rather radical in the way he writes and the services he offers:
When we first had this experience some years ago, she described a
state beyond thoughts and which was much deeper than sexual pleasure.
It was like she went beyond pleasure into a spiritual place of no
boundaries and intense ecstasy.I noticed a nice change in my lover that lasted for months. She seems
much more content and loving, less critical and much more fulfilled.The following are some tips to these deep sexual states based on my
own experiences with two lovers, one from the past and my current
girlfriend.I asked my girlfriend some questions about these experiences:
“It takes time for me to enter into these states. I do not think too
much, but rather just surrender into the flow of sex. Its like
dancing when your body just moves to the music totally effortlessly.
I am in the moment, in the energetic flow, in my heart and feeling
totally open.I start to expand out of the density into a higher finer vibration
and be in that. So I come out of the density of my body and go up
to a higher, finer vibration.Its like my awareness expands and everything stops and just is. The
world drops away and it is more like expanding out of my physical
body but I am still in it. I enter into or expend into higher
vibrational senses, beyond orgasm.Its like finding more of my whole self, experiencing my inner
stillness and universal energy. This state also has a witnessing
quality.I need my lover to feel present with me energetically. Its like a
sexual dance and we both follow the sexual energy. It is a dance of
ecstasy.When I start to dive deep, it helps me if I feel he is entering that
state too. The man needs to be able to step into a place when a women
totally opens, of carefully, honoring, supporting and loving me.Sometimes I will follow my partners breath and sometimes he follows
my breath. By dong this I can experience energy circulating between
us”I asked her what is one thing to focus on to develop these deep states.
“One has to risk being totally open, totally vulnerable. It took me
many years of sexual exploration to really experience this”
That last line may seem a little discouraging :) Or else it can be seen as a wonderful invitation to what you can be busy with for the rest of your life. Even though what is described seems a little unconventional and may sound much too unusual to even imagine getting there, in my experience it takes a desire to explore and the willingness to let go – increasingly. It’s not a fast-track method. You won’t find it in the pages of Cosmo or Men’s Health. Why not? Because it involves changing your basic way of living and being. In order to be as quiet and patient as what she is describing (which is the key to opening the body to this type of bliss) you have to develop an inner stillness and a surrender to non-doing that is quite the opposite to our typical Western life-style.
There are many ways in which men and women are quite naturally wired for this, and with a little help and guidance, both men and women can find their role and step into it.
Two other excellent articles are:
And one I would highly recommend:
Nipple-ation!
Dec 6th
Extracted from the writings of a profoundly wise man:
I heard this story once about a boy-child born into this world. The first thing that happened was his mother’s nipple was thrust into his face. Then, after a relatively short period, it was removed and forever hidden away from him.
Poor little fellow, without him consciously realizing it, he spent the rest of his life trying to see it and suck on it again. Every women he met became a potential candidate for this desperately sought reunion.
He was often hungry and restless because of this dilema.
Then, one day he met a very wise women. She said to him – “I am not your mother – No woman is – Leave my breasts alone – God is your only Mother – Go find her nipple and don’t come back until you know what I am. Only then will I lay naked in your arms.”
This really messed up everything for him. He had lived his whole life up to that moment assuming he knew what love is and why he did what he did in the world.
It was a shocking revelation: MAN-NIPPLE-NATION … MANIPULATION!
Within this revelation he perceived clearly that while he treated women this way, while he treated ANYTHING this way – he was nothing more than an insatiable sucker.
Oh! I suddenly realized…this is a story about me!
Touch like a Lover
Nov 7th
The Lover’s Touch by Diana Daffner
The Lover asked: How would you like me to touch you?
The Lover answered:
I would like you to touch me as if you were going away tomorrow, far far away, and you wanted to remember the feel of my body, the texture of my skin, the hills and valleys that make up the landscape of who I am.
I would like you to touch me as if you were blind, knowing that you love me, but unable to see me. Touch my face, my breasts, my belly, my toes… learn what I “look” like, imagine me in your mind as your hands explore my shape.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were healing hands, radiating love energy with every stroke. Feel the energy penetrating through skin, through flesh, entering into the cells of my body.
I would like you to touch me as if you gained your nourishment through your hands. Feed on me, drink deeply, and draw from your touch the love that I hold for you.
I would like you to touch me as if you were feeding me through your hands, as if by your touch I am nourished and sustained. Every inch of me cries out for your touch, yearns to be fed.
I would like you to touch me as if your hand were a feather, lightly caressing the edge of my being.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were paintbrushes, and as you caress me, you are coloring me in brilliant, sparkling, dazzling hues.
I would like you to touch me as if you were erasing the outer me, allowing me to reveal my inner self to you.
I would like you to touch me as if you had carved a sculpture, and were now feeling its finish, smoothing out any rough areas, enjoying the finished product.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were fire, burning away the dross and leaving only the pure gold of my soul.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were sponges, soaking up the essence of my being.
I would like you to caress me as if I were made of dry clay, and by dampening my skin you enliven my spirit.
I would like you to touch me as if my skin were soft velvet.
I would like you to touch me as if you were a musician, and your touch brought forth different sounds from different parts of me.
I would like you to touch me as if I were a rare jewel, precious and valuable.
I would like you to touch me as if I were your Lover.
Subtle Body
Nov 3rd
As I move through life, deepening my understanding of tantra and the ways in which sexuality and spirituality merge in an incredibly beautiful and perfectly fitting match, I’m continuously amazed to discover how the theory lives up to itself in practice.
I often meet with people who have little or no experience of the concept of energy and who are fairly skeptical of it. Most of my family and some friends sadly distance themselves from me because of the worlds I move in and am exploring. I understand their fears and prejudices and use my encounter with their aversions to continue to embrace new realms of releasing judgment within myself. I’m so grateful though, that life has brought me access into these untapped realms of life experience.
We grow up in a society where the literal and the scientific is exalted above the mystical. Anything vaguely mystical is usually filtered through the narrow margins of a popular christian view. Anything vaguely eastern is considered highly suspect and certainly likely to be “dangerous” or “weird.” Sadly, what is lost is the opportunity to experience a realm of beauty, subtlety, and delight that is actually perfectly normal and generally felt and enjoyed at some point in life, but just not recognized for what it is.
In this I’m referring to the sensations of shivers and tremors that we experience either when we touch or are touched very gently and tenderly with great presence and awareness of the moment, or when we catch someone’s eye in a way that is direct and open – with few barriers or veils. I think everybody can identify some time of experiencing such encounters. Whether they were sexual or not is irrelevant – although generally they would be seen to be romantic/sensual/deeply moving in a manner of “attraction.”
Many of us are slightly uncomfortable with such forms of intimacy. Others crave but also fear such encounters, perhaps because of how deeply we feel them. I think there is a high degree of longing for this form of “supernatural” encounter that is substituted by other activities such is high energy sports and social events in an unconscious hope to capture some measure of the thrill we feel in those rare times of intimate human exchange that are stripped of pretense and guardedness. It’s a real pity that we have gone so far away from our natural, innocent willingness to feel into one other’s subtle emotional/energetic spaces that we seldom get to the real thing, and instead spend a lot of time, money and energy on the replacement forms of it.
I trust you’re following what I’m saying. If I’m being too vague, please comment and I’ll try to clarify.
The following is a beautiful article I’m borrowing from a Facebook friend by the name of Kathy Kali. It speaks of the route to enjoying the subtle body sensations that I’ve been alluding to above:
Open your hand and let it rest. Your hands are used to “doing” something. Let your hand just do nothing for a moment. Feel the pulse of life in your palm, in your fingers. Letting go of your notions of what a hand is, feel the subtle energies in this part of your body. Notice the energy as vibration…as color…as sound. Let the energies circulate and expand, until you are no longer in your hand. You are in your hand’s subtle body.
What is the subtle body? The deep and subtle and quiet and slow aspects of our being are our deep feminine essence. Activating this subtle body, with receptivity, allows us to channel pleasurable energies more deeply. It is our transmitter. The more we “tune in” to the subtle places within ourselves, the more nourishment we can receive, and the more energy we can channel.
I’ve personally experienced the subtle body as a sweet tingling, a softness, a cloud of energy, and a sense of great space, within my body. In addition, when I feel a lot of pleasure or inner fire come through the Tantric Dance, it often feels as if the pleasure is moving up a central tube, or channel, in my core. Your subtle body may feel different to you. Allow yourself to explore and let your subtlety come through in its own way.
To cultivate awareness of your subtle body, I offer the following simple exercise:
1. Get comfortable and ground.
Lie, sit, stand, whatever your body feels called to right now. Feel your connection to the earth, and relax.2. Belly breath.
Breathe into the belly, and release. Continue. This connects you with your life force, and deepens your grounding.3. Notice the breath.
Feel the breath filling your belly and torso, and releasing. Notice any other places the breath wants to travel: your limbs, your back, your neck, your head…4. Core vibration.
Feel the breath and the energy emanating from it, as vibration. Absorb this vibration, drink it in, and take into the depth of your being. Notice any sensations, sounds, sights, smells…5. Do nothing.
Keep breathing, but do nothing else. You are in your subtle body.
Love’s wondrous expression
Nov 1st
The Lover’s Touch by Diana Daffner
The Lover asked: How would you like me to touch you?
The Lover answered:
I would like you to touch me as if you were going away tomorrow, far far away, and you wanted to remember the feel of my body, the texture of my skin, the hills and valleys that make up the landscape of who I am.
I would like you to touch me as if you were blind, knowing that you love me, but unable to see me. Touch my face, my breasts, my belly, my toes… learn what I “look” like, imagine me in your mind as your hands explore my shape.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were healing hands, radiating love energy with every stroke. Feel the energy penetrating through skin, through flesh, entering into the cells of my body.
I would like you to touch me as if you gained your nourishment through your hands. Feed on me, drink deeply, and draw from your touch the love that I hold for you.
I would like you to touch me as if you were feeding me through your hands, as if by your touch I am nourished and sustained. Every inch of me cries out for your touch, yearns to be fed.
I would like you to touch me as if your hand were a feather, lightly caressing the edge of my being.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were paintbrushes, and as you caress me, you are coloring me in brilliant, sparkling, dazzling hues.
I would like you to touch me as if you were erasing the outer me, allowing me to reveal my inner self to you.
I would like you to touch me as if you had carved a sculpture, and were now feeling its finish, smoothing out any rough areas, enjoying the finished product.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were fire, burning away the dross and leaving only the pure gold of my soul.
I would like you to touch me as if your hands were sponges, soaking up the essence of my being.
I would like you to caress me as if I were made of dry clay, and by dampening my skin you enliven my spirit.
I would like you to touch me as if my skin were soft velvet.
I would like you to touch me as if you were a musician, and your touch brought forth different sounds from different parts of me.
I would like you to touch me as if I were a rare jewel, precious and valuable.
I would like you to touch me as if I were your Lover.
Jean-Pierre Hartman
Massage.co.za
Eckhart Tolle
Jeff Foster