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Many of us are looking to improve our relationships or to find some ideal of the right partner. The media and any movie that you watch, completely supports the illusion. Everyone around you seems to do so as well. It’s only when we start looking a little deeper and questioning the conventional norms of society, that we may step away and start looking for ways to find the truth we somehow miss when we’re running around hoping for someone else to make us feel better. I have done this many times myself and I keep having to come back to the recognition that life is lived from within and Love lies ready and waiting in my own heart. Any outside loving that goes on is just an overflow of what has been found within.

Romance is perhaps the most common cover-up for the sense of fragmentation. If we are lonely, it must make sense that we need a special someone! Logical and cold, like a business transaction. A boyfriend, a girlfriend, a lover, someone, anyone! We have reduced them to a mere cover up for our sorrows – no different from the misuse of alcohol, the noise of our television, or killing time on the phone until we can next be with someone – as if we have so much time to kill!

Sex is the closest we can get to oneness on a physical level, and that is why it is so deeply satisfying. And when we peer deeper into our heart, fragmentation shows up as a need to attach, to cling, to melt and to merge. How many people are conscious of this lack? How common is this primordial sense of alienation? Common enough to show up on a standardised psychological test.

And so we look for someone to take away that feeling. When we are with someone, we can take our mind off that background sense of disharmony. Suddenly, our existence seems to have meaning. “I am not alone!” You exclaim, as you cuddle, hug, and kiss. “I have someone who needs me, who wants me! I am beautiful, I am wanted, I am worthy! I am no longer alone!”

And yet, a mere cover-up is all they will ever be. Even when we are with our loved ones, we are still just as we are – alone.

A few weeks ago, I was watching a documentary on the “host” sub-culture, in the nightclub districts of an affluent country. It revolved around handsome young men – dressed up gaudily, highly trained in seduction, paid to lounge around in special bars. They play host to multitudes of women – often young, pretty, and rich – who pay for their company, their caresses, and their idle flattery.

The film focused in particular on the finest host in town – a charming man who owned his own bar. He was living the dream. His prowess with women made other men pale in comparison. He stole women away from their husbands and boyfriends. Women fought over him, sometimes physically, sometimes by throwing money at him, and he goes home with a different one every night. It seemed he would be the last man on Earth to feel alienated.

Near the end of the documentary, I remember the interviewer asking him if it was all worth it. He hangs his head and sighs. “It was all fun for the first few years. But after a while…I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anymore. I am the loneliest man in the world.”

Well worth reading the full article in context: SOURCE