Thinking

Most of my clients raise one thing as being their major reason for struggling to have the kind of sexual connection that they would like. I wonder, if we did a survey on this, what would come out for those who are reading this? Stop for a minute, and think about what your answer would be. What prevents you from having the kind of intimacy and sexual experience you would most like?

The answer lies in the mind. That’s right – thoughts. It’s people’s thoughts that seem to be what gets in the way of their happiness and pleasure. Most people I speak to feel that they have no control over their thoughts and that distraction plays a very big role in diminishing their ability to stay present to the moment they are in. The mind can interfere and prevent us from letting go into our body and our bliss.

The following article speaks directly into this issue and I see many ways in which to apply this to intimacy challenges:

The reason we find thoughts so compelling, besides the fact that we are programmed to pay attention to them, is that we believe we need them to function—and we enjoy thinking. We do need some thoughts to function, but most of our thoughts come from the egoic mind, and we don’t need those. We think we’re going to miss out on something if we don’t pay attention to these thoughts—this voice in our head—but what we miss out on is real life, the life beyond the mental world created by the ego. The ego doesn’t have a very high opinion of real life, and either do we when we are identified with it. Life without thoughts seems boring, uninteresting. But that’s really only because we don’t stay long enough in real life to really experience what it has to offer. We are often one foot in and one foot out of it—one foot in the mind and one foot in what’s real: present moment experience.

We believe that thinking supplies everything we need—wisdom, insight, information, guidance, and perfect planning—and it’s fun. What more could you ask for? If the mind could really provide all of this, then it would be indispensible and a true friend. However, it fails miserably at all of these; even the fun often comes at quite an expense. It pretends to be able to provide these things, and we are programmed to believe it can, but the truth is that it doesn’t deliver what it promises.

Continued HERE