We live in a world where sexual energy has been distorted, which creates manipulation, repression and a world of people who are unaware sexually and struggling spiritually.  In the words of Tantric Master, Nityama, “Many people were coming to me wanting to develop their spirituality but what I discovered is they were generally shut down, repressed, and totally out of touch with their sexuality.  From my perspective, sex is the caterpillar and spirit is the butterfly and there is absolutely no possibility of having a beautiful butterfly without having a healthy caterpillar.”

Very few people are comfortable and natural in being able to feel sex in their body. This means that mostly sex is happening in the mind, with some sensation in the genitals, limited feeling in the rest of the body and minimal connection between the two people making love.

Most people are looking for a real experience of sex and feeling in the body and don’t know how to create it, due to the limited availability of real sexual education in this society.  As a result many people struggle in their relationships as they fumble sexually, creating disillusionment that leaks from the bedroom into the rest of their life, many give up on sex and shut down even further due to feeling dissatisfied or they resort to fantasy and porn to create the sensation which is missing from their inner experience.

The use of fantasy and porn is counterproductive as it takes a person further away from their body and means they are not fully with their lover, and over time they will require stronger images in order to feel anything.

The disconnection from the body and life force energy begins at an early age, due to the conditioning that is handed down through the generations.  Young girls and boys are given warnings and messages about sex, relating, their own bodies and self expression such as “don’t touch yourself”, “stay away from girls / boys” “be a good boy / girl” “don’t be so noisy” and so on.  This leads to the child becoming uneasy about the sexual feelings they experience in their body and to therefore, retreat from feeling.

The child begins to shut down their life force energy; the child will ‘play small’, leave the body and hide in the mind.  He or she either looks to do the right thing for approval or rebels against the parents, in order to seek attention, all the while living from the voices of the parents and society which have by now become ingrained in the body and being.

All of these behaviours and messages cause an individual to be less alive and less vibrant and create the shutting down of sexual energy.